Meant to Be
by weyrmage
Summary: Gail and Bianca were having a perfectly normal summer day when a very dusty Marauder popped into their world...chaos ensues and Sirius meets someone who was clearly, meant to be.
1. Siripoo!

**Hello! It's me, _weyrmage_! This is my first attempt at writing Sirius/OC and fics that are longer than one chapter, so please bear with me as I fumble my way through. I hope you like it, and I hope you'll review if you do!**

**Disclaimer: I've never liked these things. They make you feel bad, and they're pointless...All recognizable characters are JKR's.'  
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"Haha! Sure I'd love to go to the ball with you, Siri-poo!" giggled a curvaceous blonde in a very high-pitched voice. She was wearing the school uniform, but with some altercations, including a shortened hem length on the skirt, and a deepened neckline on her sweater with the buttons of her blouse unbuttoned enough to see her deep cleavage. The person she was talking to was standing in front of her, pulling at his tie.

"Ahm, Stacy, I wasn't asking you to go to the ball. And…hey, what'd you call me?" asked "Siri-poo" in disbelief.

"Siri-poo! What do you mean you didn't ask me?"

"Siri-poo? Oh Merlin! That's horrible, Pads!" interrupted James Potter, best mate of Sirius "Siri-poo" Black. Sirius just shuddered.

"Stacy...I think that I should tell you something. I like you, but...we're not meant to be, so I think we should end this relationship," said Sirius solemnly. Stacy stared at him in disbelief.

"Siri-poo, we've been going out for only a week! I thought you _loved_ me!" At this, Sirius groaned. Why was it that every girl he went out with thought that he loved them? WHY?

"No, Stacy, no. I have never said that! And just so you know, I'm going to the ball **alone**." This word caused a commotion with the surrounding girls. Immediate pandemonium started. Shrieks of "Sirius is going stag!" and "I _finally _have a chance! THANK YOU, MERLIN, THANK YOU!" echoed throughout the great hall. James snickered at the look of consternation on Sirius' face.

"Padfoot, I think you had better hide this one out. They look like they're gonna attack you at any given moment." Glowering at James, Sirius ignored his advice and sat down at the Gryffindor table. Reaching for his fork so he could pile food on his plate, he found his arm being attacked by several harpies...er, girls. Other girls picked up the fork he was going to use, and speared some sausage onto it.

"Open up, Siri!" Sirius could only gape as some forty girls crowded around to service his every need. It would have been fun, had it not been happening to him. James was no help, standing by the side because Lily had entered the hall.

"WHAT is happening?" demanded Lily. She was approaching the table, and was staring at the flock of girls around Sirius. James jumped up to explain. "No, not from you, Potter. Remus, what's going on?" James' face fell as Lily proceeded to ignore her. It didn't stop him from talking to her anyways.

"Well, Sirius here was talking to Stacy," started Remus.

"I made a poem, just for you, my Lily-flower!" cried James. Lily rolled her eyes, but continued to listen to Remus.

"And Stacy said that she'd love to go to the ball with Sirius," he continued.

"Here it is, _Roses are red, violets are blue,_" crooned James.

"But Sirius denied ever asking her such a question," said Remus over James' voice.

"_some poems rhyme, but this one don't,"_

"James commented on Sirius' lovely nickname, 'Siri-poo',"

"_I love you, with all the passion of my fiery heart,"_

"Then Sirius broke up with Stacy,"

"_Just like your fiery hair, but I love you more than an ocean,"_

"Stacy said she thought that Sirius was in love with her,"

"_Even though the ocean is not nearly as gorgeous as your eyes,"_

"To which Sirius responded that he wasn't in love with her, and that he was going along to the ball,"

_"Which is why I gaze at them with true love everyday,"_

"And that caused the Sirius fans to become ecstatic,"

_"__in the hopes that you will love me just as much (or a little...a little's nice),"_

"So now they're competing to see who can serve Sirius enough so that he'll take them to the ball."

_"and go to the ball with me!"_ finished James. Lily raised an eyebrow at Remus.

"Really? Wow, I never knew people could become that pathetic. That is, until I heard that 'poem' James came up with. Oh, and the answer to your very subtle question? IS NO!" With that she turned on her heels and stomped over to her friends at the other end of the table: Mary, Addy, and Jess. James looked longingly after her.

"She'll say yes one day, she has to!" muttered James. Remus gave James a pitying look and patted him on the back.

"Sure she will, sure she will."

"Uhm, A LITTLE HELP HERE?" came a loud yell from midst the giggling girls. In talking to Lily about Sirius, they had forgotten about him. James and Remus managed to grab a hold of Sirius' arms, and yanked him out. The girls all were confused as to where he went for a second, and the boys took the chance to flee from the great hall.

**Well...that was fun. Hope you liked it, and I'm hoping you're going to click "Review". So...oh yeah, uhm, I'm not quite sure when I'll next update this thing (I won't be like some of the other ppl. I'm not setting "5 reviews for 1 chapter" rules. I like reviews, but it's fun writing either way) as I'm busy with school and crew...but I promise I won't let it drift like _Hermione's Wedding Day_.**

**_-weyrmage_  
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	2. Abigail Holt

**A/N: This chapter introduces my two main OC's**

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Chapter 2: Abigail Holt

A tall lanky girl walked through a dark kitchen. She was halfway through when she slammed her toe painfully on a chair.

"Shi—oot!" she hissed as she clutched her toe and limped gingerly towards the light switch, snatching a jacket from the back of one of the chairs in passing. Once the overhead lights were on, the girl lowered herself onto one of the chairs near the marble-topped island. As she rubbed her toe, a woman came down the stairs. She had a soft blue-grey eyes framed with light brown hair. Said eyes were currently half-shut with sleep.

"You okay, Gail?" she said with some concern.

"Yeah, Mom, I'm all right. Just stubbed my toe on a chair."

Her mother gave a slight nod and then went back up the stairs.

Abigail Holt, Gail for short, walked out of the house at half past six and headed for the nearby high-school track. It was a pleasant day; the sun was nearly up, and birds were starting to chirp enthusiastically from the nearby trees. After she reached the deserted track, she ran for a couple laps. It was still summer vacation, and so the place wasn't nearly as lively as it would be in another month.

Gail was heading home when she encountered a stocky boy, presumably headed for the place she had just left. He was blonde, blue-eyed, and shorter than Gail by about three inches. There was a distinctly nervous expression on his face.

"Hey, Gail?"

"What?"

"Erm…I was wondering…if…you know…you'd…go…out? You know, with me? You know, as a couple…and you know, do couple-y stuff, and you know—"

"No! I mean, I don't know, maybe. Could I think about it and get back to you? Would that be all right, Steve? Because right now, I, er, have to go home—bye!"

And without bothering to listen to his reply, Gail hurtled home, breathing a sigh of relief at having made such an easy escape. Steve had been badgering her for weeks now, and she still wasn't sure how to answer. He was nice enough, certainly, and kind of cute in an awkward way; the problem was that Gail didn't really want to go out with him, but she didn't know how to kindly turn him down. He had been popping up unexpectedly ever since he had helped her up after she fell one day. Gail kind of thought that he was just proud that he had saved a damsel-in-distress, and felt an obligation to date her because of that. Which was stupid, but then, boys were often stupid in high school.

Both the sun and her mom were up by then, and the latter had a cup of coffee and a wide smile waiting as Gail walked tiredly through the door (she vowed to exercise more in the future; a few laps never used to tire her out before). Gail groaned; she was positive that her mom had seen the way she had limped home.

"Tired, dear?" she asked.

"Uh...a bit."

Her mom just smiled in that infuriating, all-knowing way of hers and offered Gail a cup of coffee, who accepted it gratefully. She didn't always like the taste, but it was always nice to have something caffeinated to wake herself up in the mornings and she was too lazy to make any tea.

The rest of the morning passed by without a hitch. Gail spent it sitting on a swing in the mostly empty elementary-school playground with her earbuds on and feeling the breeze brush through her long dark brown hair. Besides having said hair blown in by an errant breeze and once accidentally pitching herself off the swing in a fit of inattentiveness, it was a fairly typical summer day.

Later in the afternoon, Gail spent some time at her friend Bianca Cooper's house, and they spent a productive four hours surfing the Internet, eating ice cream, and laughing over both Steve's incompetent efforts at wooing and Gail's equally incompetent efforts at turning him down.

"You really need to grow a _spine_," Bianca said. "Honestly, I don't know which his worse, him always tagging along after you or your attempts to stop it."

Gail, sheepish (even _she_had to agree that it was rather funny), agreed to try harder next time.

She went home as it began to get dark, and, after dinner, her family crowded around the living room TV to watch a movie. About halfway through, her father suddenly got up and announced, "Kids, your mother and I are going on a vacation."

Gail stared at him.

"What?" cried Katie, her little sister. "Whaddaya mean? What about us? Where are we going to stay?" She did a great job of sounding betrayed and abandoned, and it wasn't even time for them to leave yet.

Gail rolled her eyes. She remembered something that Katie had said the week before. "Katie, you're going to be at your friends house for that huge sleep-over-for-about-a-month thing, aren't you? The one that Natasha Binnings said was imperative for the 'growth of the young girl's emotional and social life'?"

"Oh," said Katie. She looked surprised for a second. "I'd forgotten about that. . .Then where's Gail going to stay?"

Their father looked at Gail. "You are going to stay with Bianca. I've talked to her mom...which reminds me, didn't I tell you about the trip? I could've sworn I told you and Katie last week."  
"Oh. Actually, now you mention it, yeah, maybe you did," said Gail.

"Then we'll be going tomorrow."

Gail and Katie both gaped at their parents (Gail for the second time). "TOMORROW?" they yelled simultaneously.

"Heh…ahm, well, I guess that part I forgot to tell you. We booked it after we agreed to Katie's sleep-over, and I never got around to telling you. We're going to drop Katie off at Natasha's house, and then head for the airport, and then to the Bahamas."

The two sisters looked at each other. It was typical of their dad. He always was forgetting something really important, but he would remember little details like how one of them got two points off on a history quiz or something. It was quite aggravating when it came to things like not remembering to tell the girls about when exactly they were leaving for a vacation until the night before they were going to take off.

"Daaaaad. You have to start remembering! Otherwise, Katie and I are going to just have to assume you have Alzheimer's or something. Remember that report I did in fifth grade?" Gail said, voice intentionally whiny.

Her dad looked guiltily but also sort of defensive. "My memory's perfectly fine. It's just that some of these things slip through my memory net. Besides, I'm too young and handsome to get a disease with such an unattractive name!" he joked. Gail, Katie, and her mom all giggled a bit at his arrogance.

The next day, Gail waved good-bye to Katie and her parents. Since she was staying two houses down, she wouldn't go in the car to the airport with them. She had her driver's license, of course, but her dad didn't trust her to drive all the way back from the airport with the car and still remain one piece. This apparently went for the house as well, because she had been told that under no circumstances was she to stay for more than two hours inside it.

Her dad's exact words had been, "Don't stay in our house for more than two hours, because then we'll come home, and our house will be burnt down from some crazy party that you kids throw. That goes for you too, Katie. I've told Mrs. Binnings to tell me if she suspects you're up to something. Bianca's mom has been told the same thing.

"So, Gail, no drugs, no boys, and no parties unless sanctioned by Bianca or Natasha's parents; and, lastly, NO MORE THAN TWO HOURS IN THE HOUSE! Okay?"

Katie and Gail had both nodded emphatically.

Now, Gail walked over to Bianca's house, wondering what they were going to do for the rest of the week.

"Wassup?" said Gail as soon as she reached Bianca's house. Bianca giggled at Gail's speech. She found it funny whenever she said anything that was 'ghetto'. Of course Bianca didn't know the first things about sounding 'ghetto' because although she was mixed (her dad was African-American, her mom was Caucasian), she didn't like "those ghetto black people". This made no sense whatsoever to Gail, but then, Bianca was a strange girl.

"Nothing, really," said Bianca, drawing our her words for added suspense, "except that you're staying at my house for a week! All on our own!"

"Yup, and what are we-wait, what? 'All on our own'? What about your parents?" Gail asked.  
"Oh, them? Pshh. They don't count." She waved her hand to emphasize the point. "Besides, we'll be at your house for most of the time and throwing par-tays, right?" At that point, Bianca's mom appeared behind her and tapped Bianca's shoulder.

"No. You ladies will be staying out of Gail's house. Mr. Holt specifically told me that the girls' aren't allowed to be in the house for more than two hours," she said sternly.

Bianca grinned mischievously at her mom. "What's the point of having her parents gone for a week if she's not allowed to throw a wild rave-"

"-with drugs and alcohol and hot guys?" finished Gail. Mrs. Cooper just laughed at the enthusiasm in their eyes.

"Sorry, girls; no drugs, alcohol, or boys allowed in this house."

"Does that mean we can get rid of Allen?" Bianca asked hopefully. Allen was her little brother. He was absolutely adorable, but he was also extremely annoying and enjoyed terrorizing his older sister.

"No, it doesn't. But I have news that will make you happy." Mrs. Cooper paused for a moment before continuing. "He and your dad are going to Grandma and Pops' house for the week. Your father's dad is sick, so he wants to be with him, and since Allen is Pops' favorite grandchild..." Bianca rolled her eyes at this. Her Pops still had the old-fashioned notion that boys were better than girls. He didn't not like Bianca, but he definitely preferred Allen.  
Gail cleared her throat to call attention to herself. "I've got a duffel bag here filled with stuff... Should I bring it up to Bianca's room?" Bianca nodded, and started to pull Gail up to her bedroom.

"I'll see you girls tonight, okay? I'm leaving for work in"-Mrs. Cooper glanced at her wristwatch-"now! Bye girls! Stay out of trouble!" The two girls made noises of agreement and then went up to Bianca's room.

"Well. What should we do now?"

"Let's go and laugh at the marching band people in full uniform out in the hot sun!" Gail cackled as she and Bianca left the house with bottles of icy cold water and ice cream. It would be fun to taunt the poor band members who had to practice in the summer. They wore long-sleeves and long pants, and practiced marching in the blazing sun on the high-school fields, and it looked like torture to Gail and Bianca.

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**A/N: Hurrah! Another chapter down. Hope you liked it, and just to warn y'all, I'm a bit busy, so the next update might take a while. Please continue with me **

**_-Weyrmage_**


	3. TimeTurner Mishap

**A/N: This hur chapter is one I quite like...enjoy!**

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Chapter 3: Time-Turner Mishap

It had been a week since the spectacle that was Stacy and Sirius' incredibly awkward break-up; unfortunately, the vast majority of the girls who overheard the news still had not ceased in their efforts to find out whom Sirius was going to the ball with. They showered him with affection and gifts, which, James joked, was kind of backwards from normal relationships. Sirius didn't find that very funny, but Peter and Remus did-though the latter tried not to be obvious when laughing. Peter, on the other hand, laughed outright and didn't stop until Sirius had stalked off in high dudgeon.

It was, inevitably, during one of these laughter-fests that Sirius exploded.

"HOW DO I GET THEM OFF OF ME?" he groaned piteously. By this point, Remus couldn't take it anymore and, instead of chuckling quietly, broke into loud gales of laughter. The look on Sirius' face was priceless.

"Well, mate, short of becoming gay or making yourself ugly, there isn't much of a chance of that," replied James sympathetically. Sirius blanched at the idea of purposely making himself ugly. He prided himself on his intelligence, his charm, and his good looks. Just then a third year (it was a girl; of course it was a girl; Sirius did his best to hide behind James, though their height difference made the latter a flimsy defense at best) came rushing up to him.

"I-really-want-to-go-with-you-to-the-ball-please-say-yes-here-is-a-gift-from-me-to-you-please-accept-it-my-daddy-works-at-the-Ministry-it-took-me-ages-to-get-it-but-I-got-it-because-I-really-like-you-and-oh-this-is-so-embarrassing-just-take-the-gift-don't-take-me-to-the-ball-I-can't-stand-being-next-to-you-you-shine-with-such-a-bright-light!" With that long and garbled sentence (later on, James privately reflected that it was the sort of statement that deserved at least three or four extra exclamation points tacked onto the end), she threw something at Sirius, but Sirius made no move to catch it and it landed at the ground in front of him. The object shattered and sprayed a fine mist of powder all over the four boys.

"Argghhh!"

"Pgggft!"

"Yuck!"

"Acck!"

They all started coughing and wheezing as the powdery substance made its [gaaah "it's" and "its" is a pet peeve of mine, by the way] fiery, stabbing way down their nostrils and mouths.  
"What was that, Padfoot?" cried James as he brushed his tongue off with his hands. Due to said action, it came out more as "Ah as dat, Tadfuh?" Peter was copying James and Remus was sneezing from all the powder in his nose. Sirius blinked a couple times as he tried to see past the film of sparkly sand that was coating his eyeballs. When he could finally see clearly, he promptly knelt down to inspect the 'gift.'

"It's…blimey, it's a time-turner!" This stopped the boys in their tracks. Remus stopped mid-sneeze, and Peter and James immediately stopped pawing at their tongues.

"What? How'd she get a time-turner? They're incredibly rare! The Ministry's only started to let people use them outside of the Aurors just last year!" exclaimed James.

"Are you sure it's a time-turner, Pads? You sure you don't have too much sand in your eyes?" scoffed Remus. "It can't possibly be a time—" He broke off as Sirius thrust the broken shards of what was once a time-turner in front of his face. Remus's jaw dropped. James and Peter crowded around to see it for themselves.

"BLOODY HELL! IT'S A—" Poor Remus was shushed again, this time by a hand covering his mouth.

"Shut it! Do you want everyone to know?"

Remus looked abashed for a second, but then gave a start that would have been considered melodramatic in any other circumstance. "Shouldn't we tell McGonagall? I mean, who knows what Time-Turner sand will do to you? What if something horrible happens?"

James and Sirius pondered his statement carefully. "True. Maybe we should go see McGonagall. Just. . . to make sure we don't die horrible, painful deaths or something."

They all raced to McGonagall's office entrance. Sirius started to pound on the door, but before he could, the aforementioned portal opened, leaving four very surprised and out-of-breath boys gaping in the doorway of the office. One very familiar bespectacled face appeared and regarded them caustically.

"Mr. Black! And Mr. Potter as well! I should have known it was you two making all that ruckus out in the halls. What in the world are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in class?"

Remus shoved James and Sirius aside (ordinarily such a maneuver would have caused no end of exclamatory remarks and much retaliation, but this instance was a particularly delicate situation that the two were only too glad to let their dear old Moony handle) and stepped up in front of their exasperated Head of House.

"Professor, we all have a free period right now-erm, well I think Peter is supposed to be in Remedial Charms"-it never hurt to be as honest as possible with McGonagall-"but, ah... This is an emergency."

Professor Mcgonagall cranked one thin grey eyebrow up to half-mast as she listened to his stuttery explanation. Remus had always been an exemplary student, and although she had her suspicions about his relations to the pranks pulled off by his audacious friends, he had only ever been directly linked to a few of the minor ones. "What sort of emergency?"

"Well, Sirius', ah, admirer"-here, all four of them would later swear that Professor McGonagall had rolled her eyes-"gave him a present. Or rather she attempted to, but Sirius didn't manage to catch it. So then it smashed and sprayed us all. With the dust inside of it, I mean. It seemed harmless, but afterwards we found that the present was actually a Time-Turner. We were worried about the effects of the Time-Turner sand."

"I see," said the professor, though her lips were tightened into an almost nonexistent line. "Actually, no, I don't. How did this girl get a Time-Turner? The Ministry is supposed to have a tight security on them; if a mere girl could sneak one out of the Ministry, untold dangers are possible!" She blew out a large breath of exasperation. "That idiot Millicent Bagnold-!

"As for you four," she continued, in a slightly less threatening tone, "I'm not quite sure what time-turner dust does to one's health, but Madame Pomfrey should-"

She was cut off by a loud sound not unlike a cannon shot, which came from the space where James had been standing mere seconds before.

"-be. . . Well! I guess this is the main side-effect of time-turner dust. . ." The other three Marauders stared dumbly at the empty space where James had until very recently been occupying. Their mouths were once again hanging open in shock.

"Erm, professor?" asked Sirius, his voice rather higher than usual. "Where did James go?"

"I think a better question would be 'when and where,' Mr. Black. And the answer to that question is, unfortunately, I don't know." Professor McGonagall looked nearly as shocked as the boys did, and she looked far removed from her usual capable self. However, she quickly pulled herself together and soon began to issue orders.

"I must report this to the Headmaster at once. You, Mr. Pettigrew, come with me. Professor Dumbledore will be quite interested to hear your account of what happened. The rest of you, wait here in case Mr. Potter returns while I am gone." The three on waiting duty nodded, crowded into the office, and chose chairs to lounge in to wait for Jame's return from who knew where, while the professor led Peter towards Dumbledore's office. 

Meanwhile, in another place and time, two girls were out enjoying a summer afternoon, completely unaware of their imminent (and very dusty) visitor.

"So when do you think one of the band directors will come over to ask us to leave?" asked Gail as she absentmindedly licked her ice cream cone. An ice-cream truck had come by shortly after they had finished their ice cream from home, meaning that they could continue their overindulgence in deliciously cold fats and sugars. It was summer, after all.

"Uhm...I don't know. They're probably too polite to do anything right now. Though I think that the clarinet player over there will leave the formation and come over here to yell at us. She's sweating all her uniform, and she's looked over here to glare at us plenty of times," remarked Bianca.

Gail looked over at said clarinet player and nodded. "Yeah, I agree with you there." After about twenty minutes, however, no one came over (though a nearby flute player had made a rude, though covert, hand gesture at them when Bianca purposely poured icy water over herself and shivered delightedly) and the girls' attention spans wandered. It all eventually culminated in the two of them heading home, incredibly bored.

"Hey, Bianca, what's for lunch? I'm starving."

"We can order a pizza or something. You know how my mom's not big on cooking. Dad does the cooking when he's home," said Bianca. As the two girls walked into Bianca's house, they heard voices from the living room.

"Did you leave the TV on, Bianca?" asked Gail teasingly. Bianca was known to have an iffy memory. But Bianca shook her head slowly.

"No...I didn't."

"So that means someone else did, or..." The two girls rushed into the house just as they heard male voice, worryingly loud, crying, "WHOA!"

"What was that?" whispered Bianca to Gail.

"I don't know!" Gail hissed back.

"You go-I don't know-just-just get a weapon, and I'll go distract the person, okay?" Bianca told Gail.

"Okay. Be careful," said Gail, and she made a silent, speedy dash toward the kitchen.

Bianca slowly crept into the family room, where she was treated to the sight of a boy of about fifteen or sixteen was running in a most ungainly fashion on their treadmill. As she watched, shocked, the boy jabbed at a random button on the treadmill, and the incline went up.

"Whee!" cried the boy. Bianca gaped at him, disbelievingly. Of all things for a robber to do, this was one of the last she would ever have expected. It was as if he had never seen a treadmill before.

Clearing her throat loudly and (she hoped) threateningly, she said, "Uh, who are you, and what are you doing in my house?"

The boy jerked his head around in surprise, blinking at her through round black glasses. "Huh? Erm, uh, hi?"

Bianca stared at him in confusion. He looked like someone she'd seen before. "Do I know you? You look familiar."

The boy continued to stare. "Er. I don't think so. I mean, if you're a Muggle, which I'm presuming to be the case as you have this strange contraption, you probably don't know me... I mean to say, erm, sorry for using your. . . thingy. And yeah, that kind of sounded wrong. Sorry. About that. But seriously, I didn't mean to land in your house-"

"What did you just call me?"

The boy looked rather guilty as he looked shiftily around the room and mumbled, "N-nothing. I didn't call you a 'Muggle,' nope. You must have imagined it... And, erm, you didn't see me here...?" he trailed and started laughing awkwardly. Bianca did not join in.

Bianca looked at him and then squinted her eyes to look at him more closely. After a few moments of intently scrutinizing the ever-more-uncomfortable intruder, she suddenly burst out laughing. "I GEDDIT! You're a prank, right? Like on that one show, 'Prank'D'! That's hilarious! I must've won that one contest that I entered ages ago and you're the TV show stunt man or something! HA! HAHA!"

"No...wait, what's a 'Prank'D'? And about pranks...I mean, I'm pretty good at them, but I'm not pranking you right now. Maybe she was a part of a prank! That's it! They probably shoved me into the Room of Requirement or something. Except, I don't know you. And the Room hasn't ever brought in people before. . . Huh," he said this last word with a rather puzzled look, "Are you Hufflepuff? Or maybe a really nerdy Ravenclaw. I know you're not a Slytherin; Padfoot wouldn't do that to me, and I'm pretty sure I know all of the people in Gryffindor.."

Bianca had stopped laughing about the part where the boy had started talking about "Room of Requirement" and "Sirius"and "Hufflepuff." Those were words she recognized. "Wh-what did you just say?"

The boy looked at her, with a cocked eyebrow. "I said that this is all... Oh shit. It isn't, is it? Did I just break the-" At this, he started patting his pocket madly, swearing under his breath all the while. "Where is my damn wand when I need it?"

It was at this moment when Gail appeared with what appeared to be a frying pan in her hand. She held it like one would hold a baseball bat and was preparing to swing at the boy. Bianca started waving madly at her, trying to communicate to her to not swing, as Bianca wanted some answers from this strange guy who seemed to be taking the whole Harry Potter thing just a little too far.

However, it seemed that Gail did not understand her; she proceeded to swing away at the guy (Bianca thought with an inward groan that she still didn't know his name yet). With a low BONGGGG indicative of the meeting between stainless steel and human head, the boy collapsed into a heap on the treadmill. With a horrified expression on her face, Bianca watched as the treadmill track continued on, and unceremoniously dumped the boy onto the floor. His head was still on the track though, and it was making a sort of whirring sound as it rubbed against the still-moving rubber track.

"Gail! Why did you do that?" cried Bianca, rushing towards the fallen boy. Gail looked on in bewilderment.

"I thought you told me to? Besides, wasn't he was reaching for his gun, or something? Knife? AK-47?" Gail asked in a steadily increasing pitched voice as she saw Bianca grab hold of the boy's shoulder, and lean her ear down to his chest. "What...what are you doing, Bianca? He could be dangerous! Get away from him!"

"He might be hurt!" replied Bianca matter-of-factly.

Gail gave a slightly hysterical snort of laughter and said, "Well, I hit him in the head with a stainless steel frying pan with non-stick coating, and I had a running start. I highly doubt he's ready to pop up and frolic in the daisies. Speaking of 'popping up', get away from him! He could be dangerous!"

"Pshh, yeah, and dangerous people threaten people with major references to Harry Potter, right?"

"Yeah!" said Gail, in a 'duh' sort of voice, and then paused to consider what Bianca had just said. "Wait, what? Harry Potter references? Like, 'Muggles, magic, and wands, oh my!' references?"

Bianca rolled her eyes from her position on the ground, peeling back the boy's eyelids to reveal hazel irises. "Yeah. He also mentioned the Room of Requirement and Sirius and Padfoot."

Gail paused for a second before she said anything. "Well...he could be crazy? Maybe he broke out of an insane asylum..." But before Gail could expound upon her theory, a loud bang sounded from where Bianca was. Gail blinked as she stared at where her best friend had been moments before, along with the unconscious boy. There was nothing there. The only thing that was proof that they had been there was the still going treadmill.

"Wha- Bian- Wha- Who-" Gail, unfortunately, seemed to have lost her ability to form a complete sentence. She blinked furiously at the spot where Bianca had disappeared, and then dove down to inspect the treadmill in the futile hope that the two had somehow become stuck underneath. "OH MY GOD SHE'S GONE! WHAT THE HELL? BIANCA? BIANCA!"

Quite predictably, nothing answered her.

In Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, two people appeared with a loud bang and fell three feet from the air onto the hard flagstones in Professor McGonagall's office. Two boys stared at their unconscious buddy and the strange girl who was holding onto his shoulders. Their mouths dropped decisively open.

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**A/N: **** So...it's been a while. Sorry! You see, I had finals, and homework, and then the start of SUMMER BREAK! And because summer has started, I shall update more than once per 5 months :) At any rate, I hope you liked this chapter!**

******I'm planning on starting a fic for King Arthur (movie), as I've become obsessed with the fandom...but it will come second to this story. I've started chapter 4, and there are some...painful but funny things that happen to poor Sirius...again. 'Til next time!**

-_Weyrmage_


	4. The Plural of 'Elk' Is Not 'Elkses'

**A/N: Hello again! It's been...5 or 6 months? Sorry? Here's the chapter, enjoy!**

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**Chapter 4: The Plural of 'Elk' Is Not 'Elkses'**

"Professor Dumbledore! Something has happened!" barked Professor McGonagall.

Dumbledore looked pleasantly surprised at being barged in upon. "Whatever is the matter, Minerva?"

"Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew here were covered in Time-Turner dust that a girl had somehow procured from the Ministry. Mr. Pettigrew is here to tell you exactly what happened."

Peter's knees shook as he slowly raised his eyes to meet Dumbledore's bright blue ones. Dumbledore smiled kindly at Peter.

"Mr. Pettigrew, if you would kindly explain what is going on, and why you are covered in dust, it'd be greatly appreciated."

And so, in a much higher voice than usual (with many pauses and excessive amounts of lip-wobbling), Peter told the whole story. When he had finally made his shaky way to the end of the tale, Dumbledore nodded ruminatively. He didn't look at all fazed by the news, and instead said quietly, "Thank you, Mr. Pettigrew."

"Now," he continued calmly, "if you would please show me the place where this occurred?"

Professor McGonagall nodded and said, "This way, Headmaster," sweeping out of Dumbledore's office without bothering to check if they were following.

In McGonagall's office, Sirius and Remus stared at the girl crouching next to James.

Sirius was the first to speak. "Uh, hello?" he said, tentatively. The girl didn't reply, but merely gawked at him in shock, one hand still clutched around James's own in what looked to be a death grip. Remus nudged James with his toe in an effort to wake him and somehow procure from him information on who the girl was. Unfortunately, he didn't stir, leaving Remus alone with an unconscious mate and a strange girl.

"So... hi," said the girl awkwardly.

"Hey," replied Remus.

A herd of reindeer dug under thick, white, fluffy snow for (they hoped) bountiful tufts of shriveled grass. A loud bang interrupted their silent foraging, and they immediately tensed in anticipation of deranged, cold-hardened hunters waving guns. After the reindeer nearest the source of the noise were reassured that the newcomer was no threat, the herd relaxed and went back to their hopeful snow-shoving. The newcomer, a human boy with a ridiculous mane of blackish-colored fur and (it seemed to them) nothing else, slowly got to his feet (he had fell about three feet from the air and landed on his face in the deep snow) and surveyed his surroundings.

"What the…," he muttered, spinning on his heel to try to figure out where he was. After staring for a few seconds, he started muttering some rather vicious things, the words "stupid girl" and "fucking Time-Turner" popping up in almost every sentence. He kicked at the snow that the reindeer had so carefully shifted and then, feeling as if that wasn't violent enough to express his emotions, started to make a snowball. His fingers were stinging from touching the snow, but he continued until he had a nice big snowball. Taking aim, he threw the snowball with all his strength at the nearest available living target (with perhaps the exception of the grass, which was nearly dead anyway), which happened to be a most unlucky bull reindeer. The reindeer merely snorted at this sudden, unexpected shower and shook the snow out of his fur. The boy growled as he realized that the snowball had done nothing to the reindeer, though it had frosted it with an attractive coating of white.

"Where am I, anyway?" raged the boy, known in politer company than reindeer as Sirius Black. "Don't suppose you know, elky? Or whatever you are?" This last part was addressed to the reindeer he'd just thrown snow at. Said animal had now become bored with the human and turned itself so that its backside was facing Sirius. With a splat, the reindeer relieved itself onto Sirius' shoes.

(It was quite warming, but at that point Sirius wasn't in a state to notice.)

A look of horror appeared on Sirius' face, and he immediately started swiping his feet along the white snow (dirtying it and flinging it at all and sundry reindeer within ten feet) to clean them off. When it soon became clear that his attempts were futile, he made a strangled noise (they were his favorite shoes) and aimed a kick at the guilty reindeer. The reindeer, this time feeling the impact, gave a loud snort, and kicked back promptly with his left hind leg. The limb made square and forceful contact with some of Sirius's most vital bits, and he let out a strangled "hup" sound-it was all he could manage, really.

Clutching his crotch, Sirius moaned into the snow, "Owwwww fuck fuck fuckity fuck owwww fucking elk, that _HURT_!" The effort to speak also hurt, but somehow spewing expletives helped him feel a little better. And so, for about ten minutes, half-buried in freezing snow, quickly-freezing reindeer dung and (he was sure) his own draining lifeblood,

Sirius concentrated on breathing and letting loose his entire colorful vocabulary to the skies. He hoped that maybe a stray word could maybe be powerful enough to strike the stupid reindeer down or something.

While Sirius was occupied by his throes of agony, the reindeer trotted off to find another place to forage, and left the prone-but-moaning human in the snow. After a period, Sirius' nether regions felt slightly better (numb, but better) but a loud bang signified his disappearance from the snowy field of reindeer. Silence returned to the land, and if it weren't for the imprint of Sirius' body, it was as if nothing had ever disturbed it.

At Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Professor Dumbledore, Peter, and Professor McGonagall were turning the corner into a corridor when a loud bang followed by a crash startled them. The headmaster and professor exchanged worried glances, and rushed towards the noise, which came from Professor McGonagall's office. They entered to a scene that would have been funny if they had not been so shocked. An unknown girl was crouched next to a slowly stirring James Potter. Remus Lupin, who was usually a very calm, reasonable, and above all non-violent boy (excluding one or two days every month, of course, but he couldn't really be called a boy, then, could he?), was pointing his wand directly at the girl with a threatening scowl on his face. The thing that stuck Professor McGonagall as the most peculiar was Sirius Black, who appeared to have crash landed onto her desk, gripping firmly at his crotch and howling in misery. His clothing was soaked and there was more unmelted snow in his hair and on his shoulders. Overall, he looked painfully pathetic, very much unlike the usual carelessly carefree Sirius Black that she was used to seeing.

_"What_ is going on here?" cried Professor McGonagall. Realizing that no one was paying attention to her, she raised her voice. "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" she roared. Everyone swiveled their heads towards her (except Sirius, who was still too engrossed in his own little personal drama to notice). Feeling a little flustered now that everyone was staring so gormlessly at her, she continued in a softer voice. "Mr. Lupin, why are you pointing your wand at…" she trailed off, not knowing who the girl was. "You, what's your name, girl?" she asked in a kind voice, as the girl looked absolutely terrified.

"Er… Jane," she started, a little hesitant. "My name is Jane," she stated again, this time sounding quite convinced that it was her name.

"Really? Miss Jane, I am afraid I do not believe that that is your name," came the gentle rebuke from Dumbledore. The girl stared at Professor Dumbledore for a second, feeling as if his twinkling blue eyes behind the half-moon spectacles could see into her mind.

"My name is actually Ja-oh _fine_-Bianca," she corrected herself.

Professor McGonagall smiled benignly (she usually left that sort of thing to the Headmaster, but desperate times called for desperate measures) at Bianca. "Well, Bianca, do you know how you came to—_MR. BLACK,would you stop groping at yourself?_" Sirius started and blushed crimson as his hands moved slowly upwards to a more genteel position.

"I—it's just that…I mean…my, er, thing…kicked by a moose you know…bunch o' elkses in the stupid field…shi—er, relieved himself…my _favorite_ shoes! Snow…numb…loads of blood-_burning pain_…" Sirius stumbled through words, trying to explain to his Head of House why exactly he had until recently been gripping his crotch.

"The plural of 'elk' isn't 'elkses.'"

Sirius looked up at Remus in disbelief. "You're correcting my speech?"

"Well…yeah, it's abominable," said Remus, _not at all_ smugly.

"For your information, I just went to SIBERIA."

"Not necessarily. Elk-if that's what you really saw, since we all know how bad you are at Care of Magical Creatures-don't live in Siberia."

"What do you mean, not necessarily? THERE WAS SNOW AND ELKSES ALL OVER THE DAMN PLACE!"

"Plenty of places have snow and elk all over the place," Remus retorted, placing an emphasis on 'elk.' "For example, Canada."

"All right, so not necessarily Siberia, but still, I'm freezing, and I just got kicked by an elk."

"So? At least get your terminology right."

"What are you, my governess?" muttered Sirius; during his childhood, he'd had many exciting and short-lived episodes with a whole array of various nannies, nurses, and governesses. None of them lasted long; the record had been three minutes and a clever bit of toy-broomstick flying.

"No, I'm merely pointing out that the plural of 'elk' is not 'elkses.' And that you might have been in Canada or Estonia or something. Not necessarily Siberia."

"You two, back me up," said Sirius loudly to the other Mauraders (one was looking distinctly confused and the other was still attempting to wipe drool from the corner of his mouth), fully intending to battle out the matter of the habitat of large four-legged mammals.

He was, however, interrupted from further orders by two consecutive loud bangs and the disappearance of Remus and Peter. "OI! YOU CAN_NOT_ JUST _DISAPPEAR_! WE WERE HAVING AN ARGUMENT!" He roared at the space where Remus had just vacated. Professor Dumbledore looked bemused at Sirius' indignant tone, but yelling kept Sirius's mind off of the angry pain still lingering in his bits, and so he was prepared to keep doing so for as long as possible.

"Mr. Black, I fear Mr. Lupin cannot hear you from whenever and wherever he went. And as, regrettably, Mr. Pettigrew can no longer answer any questions, perhaps you could finish your argument at a later point?" Sirius blinked a bit, and then nodded sheepishly.

"Now," said Professor McGonagall briskly, "Miss Bianca, how did you come to arrive here?"

"Uh…Gail hit James-he is James, right?-with a frying pan, and, uh, I thought he had a concussion so I went to help him, so I was about to administer CPR-" Bianca, seeing McGonagall's skeptical expression, hastily said, "Not that it would help, now that I think about it. I'm pretty sure CPR isn't going to help with a concussion…But, uh, yeah. So I was trying to help him because he was out cold, and then there was this loud bang, and, well, I ended up here. By the way, where exactly is here?" By this point, everyone was staring at her with surprise. (She thought it was because of the CPR, though she didn't think she'd done anything wrong.)

Professor McGonagall managed to pull herself together and answer Bianca's question. "You are in my office, at Hogwarts." Now it was Bianca's turn to stare, a little disconcerted.

"Ha…you mean like, at Universal Studios? That's…really cool…but I'd really prefer a warning next time you guys do this whole thing, because I was really freaked out when this guy," here, she gestured at James (who had collapsed again in the meantime with a little sigh), "broke into my house and mentions HARRY POTTER stuff. I mean, if you had told us, Gail wouldn't have had to hit him over the head with a frying pan." James gave a pained moan at the mention of cooking utensils.

Professor McGonagall took a little time to gather her wits (and glance at James to make sure he wasn't too badly hurt; she also gave Sirius a hard look, for his hand had been straying southwards again) before saying, "Miss Bianca, you seem to be under the delusion that this is merely a dream or a hallucination. I assure you that everything that is going on right now is perfectly real, and you have somehow been transported to this time and place. I suggest you tell us where and when you come from so that Professor Dumbledore can try to assist you back home." Professor McGonagall looked at Bianca expectantly.

"Y'all are serious?" Professor McGonagall nodded, and Bianca's mouth dropped open. "Ohhhh my god…" she breathed, "I'm in a loony bin. They're all psychos. I'm stuck with people who take Harry Potter way too seriously…GAIL, HOW COULD YOU ABANDON ME LIKE THIS?" she wailed the last part, conveniently forgetting that she was the one had left Gail behind.

A bang and a crash startled Bianca. She was about to turn around and see what it was when a voice interrupted her. "_ABANDON_ YOU? WHY WOULD I BE HERE IF I WERE _ABANDONING_ YOU?" came a loud screech. Cringing at both the volume and fury of the voice, Bianca decided to delay turning around. "I AM NAUSEATED FROM THE WEIRD TRIP HERE; THIS LUNATIC CLAIMS HE'S _PETER FRIGGIN' PETTIGREW_ AND THAT YOU WERE AT _HOGWARTS_ AND I JUST FELL ONTO A STONE FLOOR SO MY KNEES _HURT_! I SWEAR TO CHRIST, IF YOU DON'T START EXPLAINING WHAT SORT OF DEMENTED TRICK THIS IS, I WILL-I will-_SERIOUSLY INJURE_ YOU!"

Bianca's head finally made the trip around her neck to see the person who was yelling. With a shriek, she rushed towards the brown-haired girl that had a death grip on both Peter's arm and a formidable cast-iron frying pan. She threw her arms around Gail and hugged her like crazy.

Meanwhile, Gail was still busy ranting. "You just _disappeared_! I was freaking out, and I couldn't exactly call the police, 'cause, well, what was I going to say? 'Hey, I hit a burglar with a frying pan, and my friend tried to help him, but they both went poof, yes, Officer, with sparkles and everything. Help?'"

Bianca sighed and ceased hugging, because it didn't seem like she was going to get hugged back with both of Gail's arms still occupied. "I'm sorry I disappeared. I had no idea I was going to disappear. How'd you get here?"

The other girl looked a bit guilty for a second, and before she could say anything, Peter groaned with pain, attempted to clutch his head, found that the limb generally used for head-clutching was itself being clutched, whimpered, and then sat down heavily, with one arm still connected to Gail's fist. The girl glanced at him and then ducked her head.

"Gail…what'd you do to him?" asked Bianca warily.

"Er…nothing much…"

"NOTHING MUCH?" rasped Peter, "you probably would have throttled me to death if you hadn't realized I wasn't of 'much use if the bastard weren't alive'! And then you started to shake me, I felt like my brains were going to fall out! If it weren't for the fact that I don't hit girls, I would have slugged you!" Bianca giggled a bit, but shut up when Peter turned to her.

Gail looked vaguely uncomfortable, and rubbed her nose with a finger, something she did when she felt awkward. "Er…" she mumbled, "I may have done something…close to…that…"

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**A/N: Ha...School's started, and I really don't have time to write. I have crew, APUSH, AP Bio, and a whole slew of advanced classes and things to do, so I thought I'd just upload the chapter I wrote over the summer (well...part of the summer). The next update..._might_ take a while. Say, November? Okay? I mean, that's less time than the interval between this chapter and the last one . Hehe...**

**Hope you liked it, please review!**

**~_weyrmage_**


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